If your ex isn’t following your custody agreement, it can create serious stress and confusion. Missed drop-offs, schedule changes without notice, or refusal to return your child can all disrupt your life and your child’s well-being. In Pennsylvania, custody orders are legally enforceable. That means you have options if your ex refuses to follow the court’s instructions.
Here’s what to do when your child custody order isn’t being respected and when it’s time to get legal help.
Step One: Stay Calm and Try to Communicate
Not every custody violation is intentional. Your ex may have misunderstood the schedule or had an emergency that disrupted their time with the child. Before taking legal action, try to talk it through.
Keep the conversation respectful and focused on the child. Don’t accuse or escalate. A calm message by text or email asking for clarification can go a long way.
Even if the issue is resolved, save a record of what happened. If the behavior becomes a pattern, you’ll need that documentation.
Step Two: Document Every Custody Violation
If your ex regularly breaks the terms of your custody order, like missing exchanges, refusing to return your child on time, or denying your parenting time, it’s important to keep a detailed record. Documentation builds your case and shows the court that the violations are real and repeated.
What to include:
- Dates and times of missed or late exchanges
- Descriptions of what happened
- Screenshots of texts or emails
- Names of any witnesses
- Police reports, if applicable
Keep all this information organized. A written custody log or calendar app can be useful. Even if it seems small now, repeated minor violations can show a pattern of disregard for the court order.
Step Three: Talk to a Child Custody Lawyer in Pennsylvania
If your ex keeps violating your custody agreement even after you’ve tried to resolve things directly, it’s time to talk to a family law attorney.
A lawyer can:
- Review your custody order and the violations
- Help you understand your rights
- Advise whether the situation qualifies for legal enforcement
- Take action through the courts if necessary
An experienced attorney like Anthony Piccirilli can often resolve the issue with a warning letter or formal communication before going to court. But if your child’s well-being is at stake, a lawyer can also help you file for contempt or request a change in custody.
What Legal Actions Can a PA Family Law Attorney Take?
Once you’ve documented violations and spoken with an attorney, you may have several legal options, depending on how serious or frequent the violations are.
Send a Formal Warning Letter
Sometimes a letter from your lawyer is enough to stop the problem. The letter will outline the specific violations, remind your ex that they are breaking a court order, and explain the potential legal consequences. This step often resolves the issue without needing to go to court.
File a Motion for Contempt
If your ex knowingly and repeatedly violates the custody agreement, your lawyer can file a motion for contempt. This asks the court to find your ex in violation of the custody order and impose penalties.
Possible consequences of being found in contempt include:
- Fines
- Makeup parenting time
- Court-ordered counseling
- Changes to the custody agreement
In serious cases, the court may even consider supervised visitation or jail time.
Request a Custody Modification
If your custody agreement no longer works, either because your ex refuses to follow it or the violations are putting your child at risk, you can ask the court to change the terms.
To modify custody in Pennsylvania, you must show that there has been a substantial change in circumstances and that the new arrangement would be in your child’s best interest.
For example, if your ex routinely denies you access to your child or violates the parenting schedule, the court may reduce their custody time or change primary custody.
When Should I Call the Police for a Custody Violation in Pennsylvania?
If your child is in immediate danger or your ex refuses to return your child as ordered, call the police right away.
But not every violation is an emergency. For example, if your ex is late picking up or dropping off your child, it may not be helpful to involve law enforcement, especially if your custody order doesn’t spell out exact exchange times or police enforcement instructions.
Always consult your attorney before calling the police unless you believe your child is in danger or being withheld illegally.
What Not to Do If Your Ex Violates the Custody Order
If your ex isn’t following the custody agreement, it’s understandable to feel frustrated. But reacting emotionally can hurt your case. Avoid making the following mistakes:
- Don’t retaliate by withholding your child or breaking the order yourself. Courts expect both parents to follow the existing agreement until it is legally changed.
- Don’t involve your child in the dispute or speak negatively about the other parent. Courts focus on what’s best for the child, and putting them in the middle may work against you.
- Don’t wait too long to take action. Repeated violations that go unaddressed may weaken your ability to argue for enforcement later.
Your best option is to document the behavior and speak with a lawyer right away.
FAQs About Custody Violations in Pennsylvania
What happens if someone doesn’t comply with a custody order?
The court can hold them in contempt, order makeup time, impose fines, or even modify the custody order. Judges take repeated or serious violations seriously.
What is the biggest mistake in a custody battle?
Failing to follow your own court order. Even if your ex is violating the agreement, the judge expects you to comply and handle the issue through the legal system.
Can cheating be used against you in a custody case?
Cheating, by itself, usually doesn’t affect custody unless it puts the child at risk or reflects poor judgment that impacts parenting ability.
Contact a Pittsburgh Custody Lawyer to Protect Your Rights
If your ex is violating your custody agreement, you don’t have to handle it alone. A lawyer can help you take action to enforce the court order or seek a change that better protects your child.
At Pittsburgh Divorce & Family Law, LLC, Attorney Anthony Piccirilli helps parents hold the other party accountable and fight for custody plans that truly serve their children’s best interests.
Don’t wait for things to get worse. Call today at (412) 471-5100 or contact us to schedule a consultation.