Is Your Divorce Hostile? How to Handle Conflict During a DivorcePublished: Mar 29, 2018 in Divorce
Written by Anthony Piccirilli
Any divorce is bound to have conflict. No two individuals ending a marriage are going to agree on every fact during the entire process. That does not mean every divorce becomes hostile. Some spouses handle disagreement well. They keep their emotions in check and negotiate for the best possible outcome. Unfortunately, that might not be the case for you and your spouse. You may find your divorce becoming more aggressive by the day.
If you find yourself in a hostile divorce, do not let things continue down this path. It is not helpful to you, your spouse, or your children. It can even impact your extended family and friends. Instead, call Pittsburgh Divorce & Family Law, LLC to speak with an experienced and compassionate Pittsburgh divorce lawyer who can guide you through a number of strategies to improve your relationship with your spouse and get through your divorce efficiently.
Contact us today at (412) 471-5100 to schedule a free, initial case consultation.
What Can You Do to Better Handle Conflict in a Divorce Case?
While it may be difficult to keep your cool during divorce proceedings, here are some tips on how to keep things civil while in court with your soon-to-be ex:
Consider Your Own Behavior
The first step in handling conflict in a divorce is to consider your own words and actions. In most hostile divorces, it is both party’s behavior that facilitates negative emotions, which in turn leads to disagreements. Naturally, you may want to lash out because of what happened in your marriage. However, being rude or acting with ill-intent is going to create conflict. While you will never be able to control your spouse’s thoughts, feelings, or actions, you can control your own.
Ask yourself, “am I being polite or rude?” Are you insulting your spouse or remaining neutral? Are you agitated or calm? If you are being unkind, insulting, belittling, openly aggressive, or passive aggressive to your spouse, consider how adjusting your interactions could reduce conflict and speed up your divorce.
Learn to Listen
When going into a divorce, you can easily fall into the trap of thinking only about what you need or want out of the process. This is entirely natural. You are striving to protect yourself and your future through an emotionally and financially difficult time. However, you cannot let your interests stop you from listening to your spouse.
Listening to what your spouse has to say can help you understand their needs and priorities during the divorce. Seeing their point of view may better enable you to adjust what you will accept from the divorce and devise creative solutions to a disagreement.
Walk Away When Necessary
Despite your best efforts to keep things civil, your spouse may create unnecessary conflict at every turn. If can be difficult to not respond on the same manner when your spouse decides to pick a fight. However, you must not engage in this behavior. You must create strategies to civilly end arguments or conversations quickly turning into arguments. You need to know how to end a conversation politely, whether it is over text, through email, on the phone, or in person.
Take Care of Yourself
You can only control your own actions, not your spouse’s. If your spouse is a high-conflict person or simply wishes to make this divorce hard on you, there is little you can do to stop them.
Focus on taking care of yourself, physically and emotionally. Your health during this process is important. Receiving the care you need better enables you to accept the conflict, not take it personally, and respond calmly. Also, the more proactive you are about self-care during the divorce, the healthier you will likely be at the end.
Have a Strong Divorce Lawyer on Your Side
When it comes down to it, one of the best ways to handle a high-conflict divorce is to have an experienced divorce lawyer represent you. Your best option may be to keep your interactions and communications with your spouse to a minimum and let the lawyers do the talking. At Pittsburgh Divorce & Family Law, LLC, we are ready to help.